*Beep Beep*

Bus Driver: “Sorry mate, not enough”

Me: “Shit hang on… I don’t have any change, is there any way you could just let me on?”

Bus Driver: “No mate, sorry, can’t do that.”

Me: “Come on man, it’s the last bus and I’ll have to walk two miles.”

Bus Driver: “Sorry mate.”

Me: “OK, just look at me, seriously, walking through Stratford at 1am looking like this I may as well have a bullseye strapped to my back.”

Bus Driver: “Well don’t dress like that then.”

Me: “Yeah but then I’ve lost the battle…”

Bus Driver: “OK, get on.”

Me: “Thanks.”