As is the tradition every few weeks/months, I’ve gone quiet. In bullet point form the last few weeks have been made up of:
- Bar work
- Wavves
- 4od
- New shoes
- New jeans
- Drunken eBay purchases
- Losing sunglasses (three pairs in three weeks)
- Interviews for a job that could be amazing
- Night bus chats with friendly randoms
The last two months have been pretty inspiring. In my last job I was coasting towards the end, mainly because I knew the end was in sight. Being thrown in at the deep end and having to go back to bar work to pay my way, losing my cool job title and my enviable position was a bit of an ego dent to say the least. I went from being one of the youngest employees in one the biggest independent music companies in the country to just another casualty of redundancy ready to step onto the end of the dole que. The problem was, and I know this sounds ridiculous but I never really knew how much it all meant until it was taken away. I had a massive opportunity over the 18 months I was there and in ending up without a job at the end of it I failed in making the most of it. Fair enough no one can prepare for a company takeover that dooms you all but with the networking opportunities on offer at a place like that and a year and a half to make some friends I think I could’ve done better. But hey, I’m young, I fuck up and I learn and nothing has made me learn more than the events of the last two months. I’ve gone back to where I was before, before the arrogance settled in that I shouldn’t have to pay to get into a gig or any of the other industry bullshit that it’s difficult not to succumb to from time to time. Seeing life from where I saw it when I was 18, behind a bar and getting hassled by junkies to exchange a thousand pennies for a ten pound note has made me realise how important real chances are. I’ve got a real chance in front of me now and I’m only one e-mail away from getting it, I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything so much.
On paper I haven’t failed at all in making contacts to secure a job in the future, the job I might have is down to a friend I made at my last job. It’s taken four months but I think I’m nearly there. Four months, that sounds pathetic, that’s nothing, in the grand scheme of time it’s not even a heartbeat but I guess that’s another problem with being young, we want the world and we want it now, for some of us though, I don’t think that ever changes.
